I'm sorry my penis didn't work
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize