There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
