I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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