Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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