You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
