i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
