My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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