those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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