Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
