I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
