Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
