I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
