She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
