She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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