Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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