I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
