Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
