Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
