just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
