last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
