yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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