did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Did you pee in the oven last night??
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
