Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
