So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we're making bets on your personal life
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
