Soap is not a condiment
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Randomize