I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
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I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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