I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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