I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize