I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
