I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
