I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
