i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
