So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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