help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
