pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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