he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
