Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
