how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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