If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
