I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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