I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
