So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
