i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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