Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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