Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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