I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
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Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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