At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
