I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
