North Korea, Best Korea!
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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