Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
