I only kidnapped one of them. chill
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
