I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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