I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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