Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
