Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
