Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
