i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
