You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize