i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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