I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
