"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
