After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
