at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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