Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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