Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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