Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
