Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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