im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
