hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
