I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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