I'm gonna have a badass scar
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
