So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
