real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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