Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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