taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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