people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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