Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
